1995. In the Battlefield Mall, a war is brewing. Two karate dojos, alike in indignity, battle to see who is truly  worthy to call themselves the inheritors of Juan Matus Castaña , himself an inheritor to the mysterious and possibly fictional Chung Fu , Master of the Ten Thousand Year Egg Posture. Any similarity to actual malls, living or dead, is not coincidental.  Our heroes are the OPEN CHAKRA FIGHTING SOCIETY , consisting of: Me as  Hannibal Rex , who runs the dojo. A fifty-something ex-con with a buzz cut, a rhinestone jacket (OPEN CHAKRA) emblazened on the shoulders, and a big scar on his neck from where a guy tried to shank him.  He knows karate, voodoo too . Magnificentophat  as Nathan Churchland , a muscular young lad with a fondness for karate and low-rent Japanese women's professional wrestling promotions. Learned the art of Culteurgy from a wrestling videotape, going above and beyond nature in the pursuit of strength. Unfailingly kind. Mellonbread ...