BEATS A STEADY JOB (Invisible Hands Classes-as-Items)

It's not what you know. Matter of fact, it's not even who you know. It's what you have. Everything in the world exists in relation to money. You especially.

You don't really level up in Invisible Hands, at least not in the traditional way. Your personal power is wholly in relation to what is bought and sold- what you own, or what owns you. I've already defaced and devalued this setting once before, so why not do it again?

So here's some Classes-as-Items. You may note a split between a monetary and XP price; these items, when bought, also require an investment of experience points to be used. When found in the field, the dollar price is also the value for which these items can be sold. 

You've made me an offer that I can refuse
'Cause either way I get screwed
Counter proposal: I go home and jerk off

I feel like it's worth noting that, at least for these items, you have to sell them off to get XP from their value. If you ever sell these items off, you lose their associated benefits. Ownership isn't just physical. 

Veblen Goods:

1. Loose-Leaf Grimoire. Dog-eared A4 paper, bound in loose staples and stained with various finger residues. Obviously copy-and-pasted in a hurry, with numerous formatting errors and missing or misplaced sections. After study, consulting from this tome in one hand grants +1 MD and the spell Summon Friends :) (summons [dice] perfectly loyal, statistically average 1 HD men made out of beef tallow for [sum] hours. They chuckle when you aren't looking.) $500/50 XP. 1/3rd of a slot.
2. Brass Ring. A plain ring, dull with tarnish, that was once a spent shell casing. Whatever it once depicted is gone now, smoothed out by a hundred years travelling from one trigger finger to another. While worn, you get +1 to hit and +1 HP. Held up to one ear while the other hand holds a weapon, the ring will whisper all about it- and with a century of experience, the ring is extremely knowledgeable. $500/50 XP. Negligible weight. 
3. Accusing Hand. Withered and yellow like old fat, HATE tattooed on the knuckles, with one wizened finger pointing. I'll let you guess which. Copper wire wraps between the fingers and meets at the severed wrist, coiling into a wand-like handle. Pointed at a target, the target must SAVE or single you out for hostility to the exclusion of all else as long as the hand is still pointed. All attacks made at a target so distracted have a +2 bonus. $500/50 XP. 1 slot.
4. Crystal Panoply. Six chunky slabs of transparent quartz linked with chains into an unwieldy breastplate. Functions as light armor that has the weight of heavy armor. To one who has taken the time to fully understand their use, these crystals are a battery of power: while worn, they grant +1 MD and the spells Laser Beam (shoots a bright green laser in a 200' line for [sum]+[dice] damage, SAVE to avoid,) and Mirror Shield (deflects [dice] ranged attacks back at the attackers using the same attack roll, can't be stacked with repeat casting.) $1000/100 XP. 6 slots carried, 4 slots worn.
5. Satin Style Kung Fu Tape. Master Comte de Satin (pronounced "Satan") instructs you in the killing arts in just three hour-long video courses. His understanding of not only martial arts, but the human body and reality itself, seems dubious, but these tapes get results regardless. Study of these tapes turns turns your unarmed attacks into light weapons, complete with the ability to be "thrown" 10' or 20' with a -1 penalty. While unarmored, you can make two unarmed attacks per round, or may reduce 1d6 points of incoming damage for each attack you don't make per round. $1000/100 XP. 1/3rd of a slot.
6. Novel Surgical Tools. Novel, perhaps, in that no human alive would think to make tools this hideous. It's hard to tell if the coloration is from tarnish or if they're just like that, which is the prevailing theory for why they're also so cold and greasy. As for the barbs and serrations, only malice van account for those. At least the suitcase they come in is quite classy. Used for surgery, even on yourself, they can restore lost HP by converting it directly to points of stress over the course of ten minutes. The scars left look unpleasantly like eyes. $1000/100 XP. 2 slots.
7. Saltephone. An absolute brick of a satellite phone, heavier than one even should be. Give it a shake, and it sounds like there's sand inside; break it open, and it stops working you fuckin idiot, but also blue dust pours out. There's no identifiable source of power, but one properly attuned to the phone will hear a voice on the line: Abdul Alhazred, though he doesn't sound Arabian, nor is that an actual name. Call him on this, and he'll claim to be Joseph Curwen. The Lovecraftian pseudonyms just keep going. In spite of this, and the fact he sounds drunk, the voice on the line is a knowledgeable occultist with 2 MD and the spells Godawful Curse (target that can hear him speak must SAVE or be inflicted with Agony for [dice]×2 rounds; Agonized targets can choose to either take 1d6 damage or be unable to act that round,) and Summon Ye Wretched Beaste (summons a loyal [dice] HD birdinsectsquid for [sum] hours. It has AC as leather, +[dice] to hit, does 1d6+[dice] damage, and can run, swim, and fly decently.) $2000/200 XP. 1 slot.
8. HARDBOILED. An M1911, worn and beaten all to hell, but rust-free and functional regardless. Its name appears to have been scratched into the grips with a screwdriver. It fits easily into the hand and accepts magazines readily; everything simply falls into place, as ordained by fate. 1d6!+1 ballistic damage, -1 to hit for each 50' past the first. When wielded in one hand, you get either an additional attack or move each round, and your gunshots cleave. 8 round capacity, takes a round to swap magazines if you aren't proficient. If you are proficient, swap magazines instantly. $2000/200 XP. 1 slot. 8-round magazines are $20 each, $5 extra for each additional round on extended versions. $100 for a box of fifty .45 ACP rounds. Magazines are 1/3rd of a slot each.

Sponsorship Deals:

1. Stigmata Nails. A quartet of iron carpenter nails, thick with rust. You're supposed to put them through your palms and soles, but you can actually hammer these between your fingers and toes so you can wear gloves and shoes. The seller smiles and nods enthusiastically recommending this. Gain +10% Salvific influence for doing this. Before making an attack, you can sacrifice your own HP for a 1-to-1 bonus to hit and damage. If you're going to die for the sins of others, they may as well die too. $500/50 XP. Negligible weight.
2. MAJESTIC Documents. A dossier of government files, more redaction than words, all meaningless- or so they would have you think. Read between the lines, then read the lines themselves, then draw some of of your own. They know that you know that you know that they know, or so you know they think. At this level of rigorous study, gain +10% Lunatic influence. Consulted from in one hand, these documents grant +1 MD and the spell THAUMINT (cast in response to seeing another spell cast; if this spell's [sum]+[dice] exceeds other other spell's [sum], you get to read its statblock.) $500/50 XP. 1/3rd of a slot.
3. Prediction Market Eye. An AI-integrated smart VR interface prosthetic eye that allows you to gamble INVEST in ANYTHING. It's even NUCLEAR POWERED so you NEVER have to change the batteries. It's like the FUTURE from MOVIES. Try to ignore the cheap plastic housing scratching your eye socket. With this implanted, gain +10% Economic influence. You can bet on rolls before they're made: odd or even. If you bet correctly, you can add or subtract 3 from the roll, whatever benefits you most, and lose 3 Stress. If you bet incorrectly, the DM can add or subtract 3 from the roll, whichever is worse for you, and you gain 3 Stress. The eye also has internet access, whatever that counts for these days, and a shitty little flashlight. $500/50 XP. Negligible weight.
4. Slasher Mask. A plastic halloween mask, depicting some classic horror: a Dracula, a Wolfman, a Copyright Free Hockey-Themed Killer. The cheapness is evident by the scuffed, dented exterior, and the inside is caked with half-dry blood. After putting it on, gain +20% Corrupting influence. You get +1 to hit, +1 damage, and an extra melee attack each round, but your target also gets an attack against you. Your attacks are resolved first, so you may kill someone before they can fight back. Triple all XP gained from killing. You cannot gain XP from any other source. $1000/100 XP. 1/3rd of a slot.
5. gunk™ Facial Cleanser. You know it's good because an actress made it, and because this little plastic tub boasts of its ALL UNNATURAL INGREDIENTS. The substance inside is greyish, sort of chunky, and smells like the chemicals under the sink. It never runs out. Applying gunk™ gives you +20% Prismatic influence as it removes all the little things that make you you, and thus make you ugly: scars, aging, birthmarks, asymmetry, double chins, buccal fat, fat in general, facial hair, body hair, and hair in general. Regular applications of gunk™ will turn you so pristinely inhuman that anybody that tries to attack you for the first time must SAVE to actually do it, although Prismatic aligned creatures are immune to this. gunk™ also renders you incapable of speaking in anything but the first person. $1000/100 XP. 1/3rd of a slot.
6. Law of the Jungle. A staff of petrified wood, strong enough to be used as a heavy weapon. Close inspection finds it covered in tiny images of prehistoric animals eating and being eaten by one another in a mad frenzy, even animals that would otherwise be herbivorous. The staff has no mind of its own, but an instinct for brutal hierarchy; connecting with it gives +20% Atavistic influence. Such a connection grants +1 MD, a point of Rage, and the spell Dominate Animal ([dice]×2 HD of animals must SAVE or follow your commands for [sum] hours.) $1000/100 XP. 2 slots.
7. Exosuit. The leftovers of a failed DARPA prototype for the soldier of the future, repaired with spare automobile parts and technologically spackled together with the power of Opus. It looks like the headless skeleton of a chrome-and-plastic giant, with a ribcage opening up to embrace the wearer. Putting the exosuit on and calibrating it to your biometrics gives you +30% Alchemical influence. The exosuit has two states: unpowered and powered. Unpowered, it grants +2 AC on top of any armor you're already wearing. Powering the exosuit is done with car batteries, in spite of the fact that it looks like it should clearly be hooked up to something else. It eats through them at a rate of one car battery per eight hours of operation. Powered, the exosuit doubles your carrying capacity, grants +8 Strength, gives you thermal vision, and allows you to use two-handed weapons with one hand or impossibly large weapons with both hands. $2000/200 XP. 8 slots carried, 4 slots worn. Car batteries, for what it's worth, will set you back $200 and fill 4 slots each.
8. Sea Chest. A perpetually soggy wooden trunk, sealed not to keep water out but to keep it in. Inside are a set of journals and logbooks from every decade, all waterlogged, all accounts from ships lost at sea. Each one ends in hunger, thirst, delirium, and death- and finally, revelation. To study these books regularly opens the mind to dark dreams of massive, unseen shapes moving through lightless water, and worse things still. Gain 30% Aphotic influence, +1 MD, and the spells Shark Bite (requires a successful unarmed attack, does [sum]+[dice] damage with no SAVE,) Induce Madness (target you can scream gibberish at must SAVE or gain [sum]+[dice] stress,) and Healing Touch (target you touch regains [sum] HP. If this is more than half their max HP, the target must SAVE or gain some kind of fishy mutation.) $2000/200 XP. Prohibitively heavy.